Many people ask me how I am receiving my books or lectures, and they further inquire if I am a channel, medium, or a prophet. To be very serious, I am not a channel, medium, or prophet.
“Then,” they say, “How do you write all these books?”
I want to explain the way I write these books…. Before I write I feel an electrical field around my head and spine. This is not a mechanical process, but by my own will I create such a field around me. I uplift my consciousness and I keep silence for a few seconds. Then I feel beams of light going out of my head. Then I feel new rays from the space penetrating into my mental body. The beams of light going out of my brain are radar rays which detect ideas, visions, formulated or unformulated knowledge, and reflect them back on the mirror of my mental body.
Sometimes such precipitations are so fast and abundant that I try not to lose them by just putting down key words, so as to trace the precipitations later, and continue with the theme of my writing. The rays that hit my mental body come from a source that is above me, maybe twenty-one feet. It is a bright nucleus of light. These rays hit various parts and centers in my mental body and activate them in a synchronous way. This is the moment that I like the most — when I feel like one integrated whole.
Through such an activation or stimulation, memories reveal themselves very clearly. Stories, events, images, names, come to the surface and enrich my writings. Sometimes the condition of my brain and mind is fantastic, sometimes sloppy. When it is sloppy, I like to sleep or play music until the condition is improved. I feel that I am not in contact with a particular mastermind.
Actually, I have deep reverence for Masters and Angels and do not want to waste Their time in my efforts of writing. Of course I cannot reject Their help, if They think I can handle it right. But so far I have no direct message or instructions from Them in my writings. But, curiously enough, I have contact with electromagnetic clouds of thoughts, emanated from the minds of certain Masters. Sometimes these “clouds” are so gorgeous and so profound that I feel I need another five thousand years to approach and use them. Sometimes one small drop of such “clouds” becomes the foundation of a book or a poem.
The electrical field around my head is always there, sometimes agitated, sometimes serene. Without that field all my creativity becomes average. Of course, before I write I ask the blessings of the Christ and of my Teacher, and feel Their blessings as I write or speak.
Often I contact the Treasury of my Chalice in which I find very valuable jewels of wisdom, stories, and past experiences. Once I contact this Treasury, I write continuously as if a current of energy is keeping the wheels turning. Sometimes I feel that someone is overshadowing me.
This happens especially when I speak to large audiences. Other times I feel I am geared into the mind that wants to help me. No one dictates to me, but in such cases I see seeds, ideas, thrown into my mind on which I meditate and write chapters in my book or compose music or give a lecture. I spend only half an hour or at the most one hour to prepare my lectures or seminars. Five minutes of silence opens the doors and windows of the topic upon which I have decided to talk.
I never used narcotics, tobacco, or marijuana. I never searched for any stimulant, though rhythmic music helps me to focus and raise my consciousness. I noticed also that paintings of great artists, such as Nicholas Roerich, expand the electromagnetic field around my head.
When this electromagnetic field becomes unbearable, I usually rush to the piano and play my own music. Thus I release the tension. I can release the tension through writing, also, but the process of delivery in writing takes longer. I noticed also that for a month I will write small papers on various subjects, but at the end, to my amazement, I see that they were parts of one whole book.
Sometimes a topic comes into my mind, for example, about solemnity. I put it down, and later I find that it fits exactly in an unpublished chapter waiting for publication.
Thus my mental computer knows what I need to write to make things more complete. When a book is ready I hold the manuscript in my hands and feel if it is completed or not. When I feel that it is not completed I start reading it. Sometimes I find “gaps,” confused explanations, typing mistakes, even lost paragraphs. I do my best, and then measure it again in my hand.
When I feel it is complete, I let it go to meet its destination.
People sometimes wonder why I like to read books that are totally against my beliefs or teachings. The reason is that I use them as dogs to call out the sleeping inspirations from the rooms of my mind. Some of my writing is done to try to answer idiots.
My greatest joy is reading the Agni Yoga books. Sometimes when I start to read one of the Agni Yoga books, friends ask me, “You are again reading that book? How many times have you read it in these six months?”
They are surprised at my answer when I tell them that in six months I am still on the fifth page! They wonder why. The reason is that every sentence in Agni Yoga is a path to Infinity, and I often lose myself on those paths.
I had very narrow days, but I had always a place to sleep, food to eat, clothes to wear, and had my house or my car.
I hope that in the future many instructions will be compiled from my books and presented to universities, which very soon will open their gates to my Teaching. My whole dream is to provide those ideas that will help people to build a happy life in their home, nation, and in the world.
How I Write By Torkom Saraydarian, TSG Publishing Foundation